Oh Baby, Baby Mine
by CraftyKeronian
Summary: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the changing of your status on your W2 forms. Hero's Cuties
1. Chapter 1

Something was wrong with her, she just knew it. For days now, Sgt. Calhoun had been strangely nauseous but today it was much worse. She pushed her sweaty hair out her eyes after she finished throwing up. "Maybe I shouldn't have had so much soda at Tapper's yesterday," she sighed to herself. Ralph had taken her men out for drinks yesterday to make up for getting them killed on his quest for a medal and the woman had tagged along.

Felix stood in the doorway of the bathroom, cup of water in hand. "Are you alright, Honey Lamb?" he asked as he handed her the beverage, concern on his face. Tammy gargled a mouthful of water to rinse out the last of the bile, spat into the toilet bowl, and flushed it when she stood up. "I'm fine, Sweetums," she said gently, batting his hat bill down. "I just had too much to drink yesterday."

They started getting ready for the day.

'I don't believe that for a minute,' the little man thought to himself as he buttoned up his work shirt, 'but she can be mighty stubborn. I'd better keep an eye on her.'

* * *

The next month was _miserable_. While it wasn't everyday, Tamora's nauseous streak continued and she threw up several more times. She ached more after work than she usually did. It didn't help her high anxiety levels that her time of the month was two weeks late either. Felix tried to be helpful but everything he did seemed to make her angry.

She knew she was being unreasonable but she just couldn't help it. Her husband was kind, generous, and loving, but sometimes he could be just so… so… irritating.

One day it happened. She blew up at him. They were sitting on the couch in their living room, cuddling, when the handyman said those hurtful, fantastic words. "Tammy Jean," he sighed, "you are one dynamite ga- Ack!" Calhoun had roughly shoved him away and got up.

She was going to kill him, she decided, and the only thing that would save him was chocolate ice cream. Preferably lots of it. "I gotta go, Fix-It," she growled. "Don't wait up for me." She shouldered her cruiser and headed for the door. "I- I don't understand," he said breathlessly, utterly devastated. "I thought it was okay to call you a dyna- to call you that?" She opened the door and stepped out. "Not today!" she snarled, slamming the door behind her.

The distraught woman stood on the front step, reeling and on the verge of tears. "What's wrong with me?" she hissed sadly. The craving for ice cream intensified so she hopped on her hoverboard and took off for Sugar Rush. "I'll bring him back some sherbet," she muttered mournfully.

Unbeknownst to her, Felix watched her leave. When she was gone he walked determinedly to the tram platform. "This has gone on long enough," he said to himself. "Time to make an appointment."

* * *

It was late when Tamora came back, a small carton of orange sherbet in her hands. She put it in the freezer and went upstairs as quietly as she could. The bedroom door was partially open so she pushed it farther in. It was dark and silent and she wanted to keep it that way, but before the soldier had taken her third step a light snapped on. It was Felix, sitting on the bed and looking quite cross. The bags under his eyes told her that he had stayed up, waiting for her return. Calhoun stood there, rubbing her arms like a teenager caught after curfew. "Felix, I-"

"I was worried about you," he interrupted. "You blow up in my face, disappear, and try 'n come back like a thief in the night? What in tarnation is goin' on?"

The woman's temper flared briefly but she managed to control it. "I don't know and I'm sorry. I just got so mad I couldn't thing straight." She sat next to him. "Can you forgive me, Shortstack?" she softly pleaded. The repairman smiled. "I think I can, Milady." She leaned in for a kiss but he put up a finger to her lips. "IF," he smirked, "you go talk to Dr. Mario on Saturday."

* * *

Saturday night found Calhoun sitting in Dr. Mario's office filling out new patient paperwork. She had an inkling of an idea of what was wrong with her and didn't want her husband to know quiet yet so she was here alone.

The Italian medic asked her some questions and she replied. Her answers brought him to the same conclusion. He drew some blood, bandaged her up, and handed her some items. "This," he said as he gave her a plastic stick, "is for immediate results. And this," as he passed her a cup with a lid, "will help rule out a false positive or negative. I'll have Scarlet bring you a letter with the results." He left and Calhoun stepped into the bathroom. She did what she needed to do and waited for the result.

It came and she stared at it numbly. The stick read positive.

* * *

[Dear Mrs. Tamora Calhoun Fix-It,

I am writing to tell you that all tests came back positive for pregnancy. Congratulations! Please come in six weeks from today for your next appointment.

–Dr. Mario]

Calhoun sat on her bunk in the barracks, reading and rereading the letter and trying to sort out her emotions. True to his word, Dr. Mario had sent Scarlet Fever over with a letter two days after her visit. She smiled wryly at that memory. The little red virus had come over immediately after the arcade had closed. The poor critter had split until there were eighty-four of her so she could be heard squawking over the dubstep music and the sirens.

The soldier looked at the calendar on the wall. Her appointment was only a week after Ralph and Vanellope's wedding. She had to tell Felix, but how?

That Friday she got her answer.

She had to admit: the girls playing her game were talented. They were able to play her game and carry on a coherent conversation at the same time.

"Watch your back, Lacy!"

"Sorry! Got 'im."

"Anyway, Mom wants us to go to that new ceramics shop down the street and paint Dad a coffee mug or two. What should I put on it?"

Lacy shrugged and shot a cy-bug before it could lay any more eggs. "I dunno, Elle. It'd be a little cheesy to put '#1 Dad' on it, but- Watch out!" A cy-bug came out of nowhere and devoured them, ending their game.

Calhoun didn't hear the quarter alert as the gypped girls vowed revenge and started another round. She was already thinking about where she was going to get paint and a spare mug.

* * *

Tammy found the materials she needed (after borrowing some paint from a racing game and arguing with her cupboard for over an hour), but now time was running out. She wanted to give it to her husband at just the right time but nothing seemed appropriate. Worse, she was afraid that she would chicken out, he would react badly, or any other terrible situation she could imagine might happen.

Finally, she couldn't stand the pessimism anymore. "Get a hold of yerself, soldier!" she growled to herself. "Everything will be fine. He's stuck with you for this long and he loves kids. This should be a cake walk." Despite her pep talk, though, she still put off telling him.

Felix knew there was something on her mind. He had learned long ago not to pry, but that wasn't going to stop him from at least reminding her that he loved her.

The night before their friends' wedding the Fix-Its were just finishing up dinner. Calhoun cleared the table while Felix started serving up some ice cream for dessert. "Tammy, dearest?" he asked softly. She hummed to let him know he had her attention. "I know something's been bothering you lately and I know you don't want to talk about it but I want to let you know I'm here when you do." The woman batted his hat bill down as she took her seat next to him at the table. "I know, Fix-It," she murmured. "I know."

* * *

When the arcade finally closed the next day Calhoun was in the process of gathering up everything she would need when she saw something brightly colored out of her eye. It was the mug she had made for Felix, wrapped up in some nice looking gift paper. Before she could talk herself out of it she put with the rest of her things.

Later that night, after seeing the newly-weds off, Tamora pulled her husband off to a quieter corner of the castle where she had hidden the mug. She gave it to him and she was surprised at his reaction: he fainted. "I shoulda seen that comin'," she chuckled to herself as she put him over her shoulder to carry him to their room in the guest wing. Everyone in Niceland had made arrangements with Sour Bill to stay in Sugar Rush for the weekend to give Ralph and Vanellope some much needed alone time.

* * *

**And there we have it! :)**

**BTW, this is rated T for my own paranoia. There's nothing graphic in here, I would just rather people tell me to bring the rating down than up**


	2. Chapter 2

Calhoun's first prenatal visit went well. Felix went with her this time to ask questions. "So, Doctor, what can we expect? Is there anything we should be mindful of?" Mario tidied up his office desk as he answered. "Well, with you both being humans I expect full term would be about nine months internally. Typically that time frame is divided into three parts, or trimmest-"

"Whoawhoawhoa," the soldier butted in. "Whadaya mean, 'internally'? Isn't that the only way it's done?"

The doctor laughed. "Humans aren't the only ones to have offspring, you know! The programmers made all of us to be an emulator of life, so to speak, so game mothers are going to have children in the manner of life they emulate. For example, the koopas in the Mushroom Kingdom lay eggs. The Toads are an interesting case," he puzzled. "They carry their children internally but they develop faster than a human. You two are actually the first main character parents this arcade has seen in a long time." He sat backwards on a chair, thoughtful look on his face. "The good thing about being programmed, though, is that mothers have a little more control over the development of their child. At least, the mothers who carry the baby inside their body do." He looked at the woman seriously. "I _am_ concerned about you and your baby's health, though, Mrs. Fix-It."

Felix gently gripped his wife's hand. "Jiminy jaminy, Doc, Tammy is the picture of health! What's going to happen to her that has you worried?"

Dr. Mario opened his mouth to answer when Scarlet peeked in through the door and squeaked something. He turned to her and nodded. "Thank you, Scarlet. Tell him to make a splint out of those newspapers he's got, put some ice on it, and lift his arm above his head. I'll be there shortly." He returned his attention to the couple in front of him. "Sorry about that. Paperboy flipped over his bike's handlebars and broke his arm again. Where were we?"

"My baby's and my health," Tamora said.

"Right, right. Mrs. Fix-It, you are the lead character in your game, correct? And your game requires a lot of running around? I'm just worried that all that physical activity will put unnecessary strain on the developing child. Plus, gamers will definitely notice your condition." They looked at each other apprehensively. "So, what do you recommend?" the man in blue said slowly. "

If you have access to her game's code vault I would recommend opening your wife's file and 'downloading' the baby in the 'background', if you will. Don't worry," he chuckled at their shocked faces, "it won't hurt mom or the baby at all."

He whistled and some viruses walked in. "Good. Den and Flu, just who I need! Background demo, if you don't mind, boys." Influenza sighed dejectedly while Dengue cheered and jumped on his companion's back. "This is a simulation of your pregnancy, Mrs. Fix-It," the medic began. The little yellow virus started to divide so more and more appeared on blue's back. "Your child is going to grow and develop, putting a strain on you." Flu shrieked and fell under the weight of his burden. All the Dens sniggered. "If you were an NPC, this wouldn't be a problem. You would take it easy and rest until delivery. Not an easy feat, but doable." The yellow critters condensed back into one and helped his friend up. "Downloading in the background doesn't affect the baby at all, but you would have a much easier time." This time, Den and Flu held hands. The blue germ was still attached to his associate but this time the number of ever-growing Dengues didn't bother him at all. "Thank you, boys." Mario said dismissively.

As they left he got up and gathered a few first aid supplies. "There are pros and cons to this decision and they should be taken seriously," he said over his shoulder "What kind of downside are we talkin' about?" Calhoun inquired. "Setting the download to background can't be reversed. Some parents who have taken this option have felt detached from their offspring and it can cause extra tension in the family." He smiled gently as he opened the door for them. "If it's any consolation I think there's no need to worry. By my estimates you're about two months along out of nine, putting your due date in late December. There's still plenty of time to decide."

* * *

That night Calhoun and Felix sat together on the couch, his head in her lap, to discuss everything that had happened. "But, Honey Lamb," the handyman continued, "you heard Dr. Mario. All that running you do could hurt the baby! Dontchu think it'd be a good idea to-"

"I know!" the soldier interrupted. "I know what he said. I just don't want to take that road yet." She smiled gently and kissed his forehead. "It's your baby too, Felix. It's your experience as much as it is mine and I don't want you to miss more than you have to." He blushed furiously and smiled goofily. "I appreciate that, ma'am," he said, kissing the small bump that was forming on her abdomen.

They both looked up when a knock was heard. "Hey, Lovebirds!" Vanellope's muffled voice came through the door. "Wanna head to Tapper's?"

"My treat," Ralph added.

The Fix-Its grinned at each other and shrugged. "Whadaya say, Fix-It? Thirsty?" Calhoun snickered. "Parched, Milady," he said as he helped her up. As they were leaving Niceland the hero in blue muttered to his beloved "Can we tell them yet?"

"Ten bucks says Junkpile freaks out," she hissed back.

It was the easiest money she ever made.


	3. Chapter 3

It was exactly two weeks later when Tamora decided it was time to move this baby to the back burner. Her armor had been getting noticeably tighter every day and today it was all she could do to close the clasp of her black chest plate over her protruding belly. "Fix-It," she huffed, "come to my game after hours. I think it's time to put this puppy out of its misery." Her husband was shocked at her choice of words, but one look at her pained face told him she was right. "I can do that, Ma'am," he nodded, kissing her tenderly on the cheek.

All day the little hero worried about his beloved and their child, enough so that if he had any control over himself he would have died very early on in the day's games. In demo mode he _did_ die a lot. Ralph noticed the protagonist's distraction and pulled him off to the side to talk between rounds. "What's wrong with you, Felix?" he asked in a low voice. "Is everything okay with Sarge?"

Felix had his hat in his hands and was wringing it nervously. "Well, y'see," he sniffed. He told the antagonist about that morning's conversation with his wife and how worried he was. "That's rough," the giant said sympathetically. "But, y'know what?" he asked as he gently plucked the cap out of the handyman's grasp. "Calhoun is tough as nails and any kid of hers is bound to be, too." He shook out the hat to return it to its proper shape. "I'm sure they'll both be fine." He held out the restored headgear. Felix accepted it gratefully.

"Thanks, Ralph," he said with a soft smile. "You always know just what to say." He leapt up and grabbed his friend in a rib-crushing hug. Ralph held up his arms awkwardly then, flushing with embarrassment, quickly returned the embrace and pushed the little man off. "That's what friends are for," he mumbled. A quarter-alert sounded so they started to get into position. The Bad Guy quickly stopped the repairman, though, and knelt down. "Friends are also supposed to have their friends' backs," he hissed, "so you go straight to Hero's Duty after hours. I'll take care of everything here."

For the rest of the day Felix rejoiced in the fact that he had such a wonderful friend as Wreck-It Ralph.

* * *

It was a rough day for Calhoun. Hero's Duty was especially popular today so she and her men had to run more than usual. The expectant mother had already thrown up a few times and she could feel the bile rising up again. Someone softly took her by the elbow and led her to a first aid tent set up just off the path where the first person shooter wouldn't see.

"C'mon, Sarge. You need a rest." It was Kohut, the only one brave enough to approach her.

The woman growled, "If you weren't right I'd kill you for this." She sat on a crude bench, discarded her helmet, and her lieutenant handed her a canteen of water and a packet of glucose. The dynamite gal grimaced but consumed the sugar. She threw the flimsy plastic pouch as high as it would go and shot it so full of holes it disintegrated. 'What are you doin' to me, kid?' she mused to herself, her fingers inching towards the lump on her abdomen.

Tamora sat there for what felt like a long time, and for a trigger-happy soldier who is constantly in danger fifteen minutes _is_ a long time, when she finally heard that dancer girl at the front of the arcade announce that Litwak was gone and there was a faint, familiar sproing-sproing-sproing in the distance.

"Kohut!" she barked. The man saluted. "I have some business to take care of. Take a squadron and do a perimeter check. Dismissed!" Kohut saluted again and left, motioning for a few of the other men to follow him.

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips as the woman hauled herself up. There was no way she was going to let that pint-sized, 8-bit goofball see her like this. They waved at each other on the main path and Felix sprang over to her, stopping just in front of her. "Well, that was fast," Tammy commented with a smirk. The little man blushed and ran a thumb over his golden tool. "Well, this is important," he replied. She knelt down and pulled him for a fierce hug which he eagerly returned.

The couple parted and she whapped his hat bill down. "C'mon. We're goin' into the lab so I need you right on my six. You got that hammer?" He drew it out of his belt and nodded. They had learned long ago that the magic mallet, while useless for a fight, would turn the cy-bugs back into eggs. "Good. Let's go."

The soldier pried up a hidden panel at the entrance and put her hand on it. The door opened with a resounding thud and they stepped inside. Dormant monster eggs littered the hallway. The two of them carefully picked their way to a hidden door and opened it. It was an elevator and they rode it up and up.

"So…" Felix drawled, "Where will this take us?"

"It's going to take us to the very top. That's the entrance for the code room."

The lift stopped with a small bump and they disembarked into the dark corridor. When Tamora opened the door they found themselves in the medal room. A small brown box was waiting on the raised platform. "Good. Seems Smith was able to come up with something," she said cryptically. Upon opening the package they found two transparent disks, frosted lines of circuits decorating the surface.

"What's that, Sweetheart?"

"A transporter, I hope." She took out one of the disks and dropped it on the dais. The plate glowed blue. Satisfied, the woman clipped the other to her belt and descended the stairs again, motioning her husband to follow.

When he was close enough, she grabbed him and held him in her arms. "Ready for a ride?" she chuckled, laughing at his panicked stammering. Not waiting for an answer, she swung them under the platform into the void below, the handyman screaming all the way down.

They stopped just above the floor and floated down safely. "You can let go now," the sergeant said gently when she noticed how tightly her love had his arms around her. He did, but with some difficulty.

Calhoun activated the orange disk while Felix looked around. They were in a brightly lit corridor with pipes of blue something on the walls. There was a door at the end with a lock that looked like a keyboard. The man was looking at it wondrously until his wife came up and carefully scooted him off to the side. She typed in a password so fast he didn't see what it was and he didn't ask. The door opened and he was surprised to see not a dark code well, but a dim room filled with shelves. There was even a floor to walk on. A lone black cable dropped down from the inky ceiling and snaked across the ground.

"Well, that makes things easier," the woman smirked. She followed the cord to the end where she found her code shelf. The shelf had digital boxes, drawers, and icons. One of the drawers seemed to be blinking so she pulled it out and a screen popped up. It was the data for her baby. She could see a loading bar and a count-down timer, and there at the bottom was the option to download the data in the background.

Tammy reached out to touch it but stopped short, her lips pressed together grimly. Felix noticed her hesitation and reached up for her hand. "It's alright, Love," he soothed. "This is the best thing to do. We're not going to love the baby any less and we certainly won't forget him."

"Or her," she added, a small smile coming across her face. Sighing heavily, Calhoun touched the download indicator, set it to the background, and configured the file to open automatically when the download was complete. Instantly the pressure around her middle disappeared, her breathing became easier, and her nausea lessened.

The woman hastily tore off her armor, exposing her civilian garb, and lifted her thin shirt. The bump on her belly was gone. Tears stung her eyes and she barely noticed that her husband had pulled her into a sitting position on the floor. He stood behind her with his arms draped comfortably on her shoulders. "Well done, Milady," he said as he kissed the top of her head. She chuckled wryly, "No need to get sappy, Shortstack. Life will go on."

"That it will, dear," he agreed as he pointed to the still counting timer. "That it will."


	4. Chapter 4

Things progressed smoothly after that. Months had gone by and now Calhoun was in her third trimester.

One day in the fall she sat on the couch at home enjoying the peaceful solitude. This weekend the avatars at DDR thought it would be a good idea to host an arcade-wide block party so Felix had gone off to help put together a stage for the Guitar Hero people to play on. She felt herself dozing off when a knock on the door startled her. Little Vanellope poked her head in, looked around, and smiled when she spotted the soldier. "Mind if I come in, Chuckles?"

Rubbing the sleep out her eyes, the woman nodded. "Sure, _Half_-_Pint._" Snorting, the girl became a woman. "I drove here," she said defensively. "How else was I gonna fit?" She flopped onto the couch. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Pixy Stix?" Tamora yawned as she stretched. The racer held up her hands and shrugged indifferently. "Meh. Ralph is busy helping Tapper set up a root beer stand and the roster race isn't until tomorrow so I thought I'd come bug you."

She grinned and tried to keep from staring at her friend's stomach. The mom-to-be noticed this and sighed softly. "It's not gonna move, I hope you know." Having been caught, the president blushed. "I know," she said sheepishly. "Can I feel it anyway?" Tammy smiled and nodded. Like lightning, Vanellope's hand shot out to rest on the other woman's belly. She giggled and cooed for a minute or so then leaned in and hugged her friend. "Thanks for humoring me, Sarge." Pushing the younger woman off, Calhoun chuckled. "Feel better?" The gal in green nodded.

The soldier rolled her eyes. "I dunno why yer so excited, 'Nell. Dontchu have a whole game full of brats?" Vanellope looked away, embarrassed scowl marring her face. "This is different. Most everyone in Sugar Rush has the mentality of a grown-up and just looks like a kid. Taffyta and the others made my life _miserable_ for a long time, too. I may have forgiven them but I can't forget. They can take care of themselves; I'm just there to keep the peace."

Her frown softened. "I've seen lots of babies in the arcade," she said quietly, "an' I've wanted to hold one for a long time." This thought lightened her mood. "It'd be nice to have someone I can spoil rotten!" she concluded. The dynamite gal laughed boisterously. "You would make a great aunt," she agreed. The racer beamed and puffed out her chest a bit. "Yeah, I would, huh!" She jumped up and fist pumped the air. "Aunt Vanellope for the win!"

Suddenly she remembered that she had forgotten something. "I'll be right back!" she called over her shoulder as she glitched out the door. Calhoun barely had time to blink before Vanellope returned, holding a brightly colored something and looking quite pleased. "I've got somethin' for ya. Ta da!" She held up the thing to reveal it as a slightly misshapen blanket. It was a patchwork design made with mismatched pieces. "All the racers donated an outfit and I put it together." She smiled apologetically. "It's not the prettiest thing but it's sturdy." She pulled on the edges to prove her point and a stitch popped, forming a small rip. "Mostly..."

Tamora was touched. "It's perfect," she declared. "Let's go put it in the nursery." They walked upstairs to the baby's room. "It's, uh... rather empty in here, isn't it?" the president said dully.

Indeed it was. The walls were a plain white and bare; the only piece of furniture was a small, wooden cradle.

Mrs. Fix-It shrugged as she set the blanket down. "For now? Yes. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl so we'll get everything we need when the baby comes." Vanellope hummed and rocked on her heels. "That makes sense, I guess. Got any names picked out?"

"Not yet, but we've come up with some. I really like 'John' for a boy and Felix likes 'Tabatha' for a girl. I think we'll hafta wait 'til we actually _see_ the baby before we know what to go with." The visitor nodded. "Sounds cool. Did Hammer-man make the cradle?" The sergeant couldn't keep the proud smile off her face. "He did."

They stood there in silence, Tammy staring at nothing and Vanellope staring at the blank walls. A thought came to the imp and she liked it enough to act on it. She grabbed the mother's hand and pulled her along. "I might not be able to help with the name," she said as they exited the house, "but I _can_ help with the room! We're goin' shopping." She shrank into her child form and glitched into her kart. "C'mon, Sarge. Move your molasses!"

"I probably won't have the funds for what yer planning, Kiddie Cane."

"First of all, I do so you don't need to worry. Secondly, it's not nice to refuse a gift. Just get in!"

Calhoun raised an eyebrow. "How much do you have?" she asked incredulously. Vanellope smirked. "Enough to buy a department store or two."


	5. Chapter 5

The last of November and all of December was hard on Calhoun. Because she was still connected with the baby her pregnancy was starting to take its toll. After hours she was becoming more and more exhausted and achy. To make it worse every now and then she would feel an intense pain in her belly. Dr. Mario said it was alright, just her body getting ready to deliver the baby, but she still almost had a panic attack whenever it happened.

As her due date got closer the pain came more often, and today was especially terrible, but in ten more minutes she wouldn't have to worry so much. Litwak was closing the arcade for Christmas and wouldn't open again until after New Year's. 'C'mon, soldier,' she coached herself. 'You can hold out.'

A wave of pain hit her and she almost doubled over. This one was longer and more intense than any of the previous waves. Her eyes grew wide when something wet ran down her leg and she realized what it was. "I guess I can't wait. Kohut!" she whisper barked. "Sir!" he hissed. "Operation Stork is now in motion. You know what to do."

"Yessir," he saluted. Carefully he edged his way to Loya and Markowski.

"Johnson!" The young soldier came up inconspicuously. "Sir! Is it time, sir?"

"It is, soldier. Come with me." Sgt. Calhoun went down the path, stopping when she realized she wasn't being followed. She turned back and grinned mockingly. "Well, c'mon, Pussywillow! You don't hafta deliver the thing. Just be my backup 'til my husband can get here." Flushing in embarrassment he jogged to catch up.

* * *

"Good job, everyone!" Felix said proudly. He was in a great mood. It had been a good day today, the arcade was now closed, and the only thing to do now was enjoy the time off with his wife and soon their new baby. The little hero moseyed through the apartment and talked to the Nicelanders when Mary came hustling over. "Felix! Oh, Felix, they need you outside!"

Eyebrows raised curiously, he thanked her and went out the main doors. He found Ralph talking to someone who turned out to be Markowski. 'I wonder what's goin' on?' he mused. 'Tammy's not due 'til next week.' He cleared his throat to get the men's attention. "Can I help you, Markowski?" The soldier saluted. "Fix-It Felix, sir! I've got a message for you from the sergeant. 'The stork is in flight'." Well, that just confused Felix even more! He stared blankly at the messenger, trying to decrypt the edict, when Ralph burst out laughing.

"Leave it to Sarge to complicate things," he chuckled.

"Huh? Whadaya mean, brother?"

"The baby's coming."

Ah. Message received. Begin panic mode. "Oh my goodness! Oh my GOODNESS!" the handyman shrieked. He ran to the tram station only to skid to a halt and double back to his house, change his mind, and change it again. The whole time he fretted to himself, "I need to go. But I need to get some things. _Oh,_ but Tammy-"

A shadow descended on him and the little man found himself flat on his back under a giant hand and gasping for air. "Chill out, Felix," Ralph chided. "Panicking won't help anyone." He let the protagonist up. "Now, is there anything you need _right _now?" Felix pushed himself up. "N-no, I suppose not." The villain nodded. "'Kay. Is there anything you'll need eventually?" The hero thought for a second and answered, "The cradle." The Bad Guy picked up his friend and carefully brushed him off. "Alright. I'll grab that and bring it to Hero's Duty later. You need to go _now._" He nudged the soon-to-be father towards the train and made a shooing motion. Felix blinked, smiled, and then with a tip of his hat he was gone.

* * *

The Wreck-Its sat together in the mess hall of the Hero's Duty compound waiting for any news. It was very late and they were playing cards to fight off sleep. Vanellope had dominated at go-fish and old maid so Ralph decided it was time for poker. The woman pondered her cards and stealthily tried to read her husband's face.

There! A flicker of fear in his eyes!

She grinned. "I'll see your jellybeans and raise you three cookies." The giant glanced at the tiny cards he had pinched between his thumb and forefinger and pushed in the ante. "Yer on! Let's see what you got, Fartfeathers." Her confidence wavered, but only for a second. She threw down her cards triumphantly. "Ha! Two pair, aces high!" she crowed. The man nodded sagely. "That's a good hand," he admitted. Smirking, she reached for the pot of candy but he gently smacked her hand away. "It's just not good _enough_." To her utter disbelief Ralph laid out a straight flush.

Vanellope ran her hands through her hair in agitation. "How the _fudge_-pop did you do that?!" she shrieked. "You can't even _see_ the cards! Are you cheating?" The villain gathered up his winnings and munched on a hard earned treat. "Aw, c'mon, Vanellope," he said through a mouthful of cookie. "You know I'm gonna share." He flipped her a single jellybean. She flipped him off, muttering, "Jerk…"

She put her head down on the table, partly out of exasperation and partly out of exhaustion. "How long is this gonna take?" she mumbled. Ralph chuckled. "The nerve of that kid, huh? Taking so long to come into existence. You should go smack some sense into 'im." The racer glared at him.

The door to the cafeteria creaked open and they looked over to see Influenza chittering and motioning for them to come over. "I guess it finally happened," the giant said. His wife shrank down to better fit on his shoulder. "Yep," she agreed. "Let's go meet the little guy."

Flu led them to the med bay and knocked on the door. Felix came out, shutting the door behind him. He looked pretty exhausted so Ralph was reconsidering staying any longer. As if she could read his mind Vanellope piped up, "You look beat, Hammer-time. We can go home if you want." The new father smiled and shook his head. "That's alright, Sweet Pea. I just wanted to talk to you two first. Everyone's asleep in there but you can come in for a little bit." He ran his thumb along his hammer. "I need you to keep this a secret, please," he said. "The Nicelanders are gonna have a field day so please don't say anything to them. We'll tell everyone at the Christmas party."

A little warning bell went off in the villain's head. "Well, sure, Felix. We won't say anything, but is everything okay?"

The hero beamed. "Everything is hunky-dory!" he chirped softly.

Quietly as he could he opened the door and waved them in. Ralph tip-toed inside so as not to wake anyone. Calhoun was passed out in a hospital bed, her arm draped over the edge and reaching towards the cradle. The wrecker softly padded over and they peered inside. Eyes wide in surprise, the couple looked at each other and murmured, "Oh."


	6. Chapter 6

It was Christmas Eve and the Nicelanders were getting ready for the party. There was going to be food, music, and dancing and everyone was invited! Mary had pulled out all the stops with the cake, creating a confectionary masterpiece in the shape of a Christmas tree. She was very proud of it, but the cake she was most eager to present wasn't complete yet. It was supposed to be a cake for the Fix-It baby but for the life of her she couldn't get Ralph to spill the beans!

"C'mon, Ralph," she wheedled. Again. "You can tell me. I just need to know if it's a boy or a girl so I can finish the cake." The Bad Guy exhaled sharply through his nose and mentally counted to ten. "For the last time, Mary," he finally said, "I _can't_. Do you have _any_ idea what Sarge'll do to me if I told _any_one?" He leaned down dramatically and said hoarsely, "It won't be pretty." The little woman shuddered and went back to the kitchen. The best she could do now was make some pink and blue fondant. She'd just have to decorate the cake later.

Finally, it was time for the party to begin. The Wreck-Its went to collect the Fix-Its for the big debut. The party was being held outside so everyone would have enough elbow room. Everyone stood by the entrance to East Niceland. Ralph and Vanellope came back, but where were Felix and Calhoun? "Ladies and gentlemen," the villain began. "Pr-r-r-resenting," the racer continued, trilling her "r", "the Fix-It family!" The hero and his true love stepped out from behind the giant and everyone gasped.

There were not one, but _two_ babies. Twins!

"This is our son, John Thomas Fix-It," Felix said, holding up his bundle of joy. "And our daughter, Tabatha Felicia Fix-It," Tammy added, holding the other child. "You civilians can hold them, but be careful! They're only about a week old."

Vanellope sidled over and claimed the tiny girl and Felix was immediately surrounded by the Niceland women, all clamoring for a turn with the boy. "C'mon, Stinkbrain," the young woman drawled, "Let's go show Tabs the Christmas tree." The man chuckled, "I don't think she knows or cares what a Christmas tree is, Boogerbreath."

"I know," she retorted, "but do you wanna be here when the midget hoard remembers there's _two_ kids?" He glanced at little Johnny who needed a rescue from his significantly taller mother. "Good point."

After the excitement died down the party went on. Everyone had fun and the babies were passed around like hot cakes. Even Ralph was persuaded to hold John! "I think this little guy wants to see his Uncle Ralph!" Felix sang. The uncle in question bit his bottom lip nervously. "I- I think I'll pass, Felix."

"Aw, don't be like that," the handyman joked. "Tammy just fed him _and_ changed his diaper so you've got nothin' to worry about." Ralph rubbed the back of his neck. "It's not that," he mumbled. "I'm just worried about… Well, hurting him. Or worse." The protagonist smiled knowingly. "Now you listen to me, Wreck-It Ralph," he said quietly. "There is no one Tammy and I would rather trust our children to than _you_." The antagonist blushed and grinned uncontrollably. "Thanks, Felix."

He carefully took the child and cradled him in the crook of his arm. The boy gurgled and cooed, a frail little hand reaching up and grasping the huge finger by him as best he could. Ralph's heart melted and he marveled at how far he'd come from living in the garbage as an outcast. He silently vowed to be the best uncle ever.

The night wore on pleasantly. Food was eaten, music was played, and dances were danced, but when the twins became very fussy the Fix-Its decided it was time to retire for the night.

After the babies were asleep the soldier and the repairman got ready for bed. "You certainly do make beautiful babies, Honey Lamb," Felix sighed, his cheeks burning red from a case of the honeyglows. "It helps when you have good materials to work with," she chuckled. Suddenly, she grabbed him around the middle and plastered his face with kisses. "You know what would be a great idea, Sweetums?" she said in a sultry purr. "I think I might," he breathed. They flicked off the lights, cuddled up under the covers, and promptly fell fast asleep.

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**Thank you for reading! :)**


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